Defining Moments

True, most of life is made up by the everyday tiny moments.   The meals, the conversations, the bedtime stories...   The things that happen while we're busy making big plans.  I believe that and try not to take for granted the ordinary days.   While at times monotonous, we truly are living the "good old days" and being present and grateful for them is a ticket to inner contentment.

But life is also made up of a series of defining moments.  Different for each of us - they are the BIG things --- the choices, changes, and commitments that alter the trajectory of life.   Today is a defining day.  We closed on our new home.  The house is a dream come true.   A result of many years of hardwork, plans in practice, and a lot of good grace.  I would be remiss to not acknowledge that I was "born on third base", making it to home plate wasn't nearly the same struggle for me as it is for others.  I was born into a stable and loving family, in a country that rewards hardwork and makes things possible. That said, it wasn't the straightest path or the easiest road.  There was sacrifice and a lot of postponed satisfaction.  Today --- it feels truly worth it.

Among other reasons, it is a defining moment because this house will dictate who my son meets, what education he receives, and what his future dreams become.  This house will be our home.  It will be a place for both the ordinary and the extraordinary.  I am so grateful, so proud, so happy, so humbled.  Today a dream came true.

Leadership

As a mother, I am a leader.  I don't need to be a "manager" in the corporate sense to empower people and make a positive change.  I am a leader in my household --- and hopefully I'm a good example to my son as well as his nanny and the people that help make our family a well oiled machine.

I appreciate this line on leadership via the ever-controversial, Sheryl Sandberg.   While I fundamentally disagree with a lot of what she says, I also think there is value to her words.  I would caution Ms. Sandberg to be careful about over-generalizing.  Not all of us are after the same goals.   Our aspirations and ways in which we feel personal fulfillment are as unique as the circumstances we are in.  That said, I appreciate the dialogue she's opened.   And I appreciate these lines on leadership, as I find it very relevant to the type of parent I hope to be. 

 ""Leadership is about making others better as a result of your presence and making sure that impact lasts in your absence.""  

TEDx Somerville

Woot-woot!  Just registered to attend TEDx in nearby Somerville.   I am thrilled because I love the TED series and have always wondered what it would be like to attend in person.   Will it be like a concert where the live experience blows the recording out of the water?   That would be great.  Either way, it's something I've long wanted to do and I'm so happy to have the opportunity.

One point for Facebook!  A "weak tie" friend posted it on her page, otherwise I never would have known.  People criticize social media as being a waste of time, but I actually think it has enriched my life in many ways.  

TEDx Somerville is being held Saturday, March 30 from noon to 6pm.  Can't wait!

What I learned III

Meg Jay's, "Why 30 is not the new 20" created a lot of buzz.   A lot of people were offended that Jay generalized a "happy life" as a traditional life with a marriage, children, enjoyable career.  Sure, there are outliers and people that fundamentally don't seek those goals, but I think most of us do seek to be loved and content.   I also think many of the critics are just being defensive towards their lack of effectiveness in their 20's.   Regardless of your opinion, the talk was provocative and said something that needs more debate.  I agree with Jay.  30 is not the new 20.  

This is not my opinion. These are the facts. We know that 80 percent of life's most defining moments take place by age 35.

So when we think about child development, we all know that the first five years are a critical period for language and attachment in the brain. It's a time when your ordinary, day-to-day life has an inordinate impact on who you will become. But what we hear less about is that there's such a thing as adult development, and our 20s are that critical period of adult development.

Leonard Bernstein said that to achieve great things, you need a plan and not quite enough time. Isn't that true? So what do you think happens when you pat a twentysomething on the head and you say, "You have 10 extra years to start your life"? Nothing happens. You have robbed that person of his urgency and ambition, and absolutely nothing happens.

...I told Emma to forget about having an identity crisis and get some identity capital. By get identity capital, I mean do something that adds value to who you are. Do something that's an investment in who you might want to be next. I didn't know the future of Emma's career, and no one knows the future of work, but I do know this: Identity capital begets identity capital. So now is the time for that cross-country job, that internship, that startup you want to try. I'm not discounting twentysomething exploration here, but I am discounting exploration that's not supposed to count, which, by the way, is not exploration. That's procrastination.

You're deciding your life right now.

Gratitude for the ordinary

In this week's e-course, Brene reminded us that when people suffer a tragedy what they often miss most about their "former" lives are the most simple of things.   So, on that note - I'm taking extra careful notice of the tiniest moments that I treasure in my day.   Here, to start this Monday:

1. My baby's soft hands, his perfect smell, the way he cuddles right into the side of my body like he's meant for nowhere else but that spot.
2. My husband, who not only loves me but is an amazing dad.  Last night he and J were having a dance party...  He would dance, the baby would giggle uncontrollably and run into his legs for a hug.  And again...  And again....
3. The proximity of high quality food --- a weekend trip to Formaggio always reminds me what a wonderful place I get to call home.
4. An amazing nanny --- who shows up full of love every morning.  Eager to spend time with J and help our family in any way possible...  including sending this tired mom off to work with a piping hot bowl of homemade oatmeal this morning.  thank you!!
5.  Audiobooks.  My new hobby.   This morning I wrapped up The Great Gatsby.  

And a photo from an ordinary moment.  J is into everything!   Exactly as a 15 month old curious, active boy should be....

Happy Housewarming

I can't say that I won't be treating myself to a few nice things upon the purchase of the new house.  But really, I've worked and saved since I was 22 in hopes that this day would arrive.   So if I want a particular rug, or light fixture or ....return address stamp, well then - so be it.  

I'm going to place an order for one of these breathtaking return address stamps.  I have a weakness for calligraphy and since the likelihood of me ever learning the craft are slim to none, maybe I can learn to stamp.   Just looking at it makes me happy!

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Risotto

When all else fails, I've been making lots of risotto.  It's great because as long as you have some good Arborio rice in your cabinet and some stalk (chicken, beef or veggie will do), you can have a decent meal.   I mostly improvise with whatever we have on hand ---- this weekend I did mushroom, artichoke and chicken.  A few weeks ago chicken and broccoli.   And before that this delicious mushroom one via Barefoot Contessa.  I think I'll try this bacon, leek and pea inspiration from Martha next.  I skip the cheese because my husband can't eat it and I don't need the extra calories.  The rice is creamy on its own and seasoned correctly, we really don't miss the cheese.  Bon Appetit!

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