Experience

In my younger years, I sometimes felt a compulsion to explain myself, or suggest to someone a better way or wonder about their way of doing it.  It wasn't from a place of malice, in fact - quite the contrary.  I wanted to help or show a shorter and possibly more efficient way.

But these days, I'm letting go of that.   I have learned, I think through the tiring journey of parenting, to save my resources.  Not everything or everyone needs my full attention, my 100%.  Of course, not everyone wants my opinion on things either.

It's helped.  I feel less exhausted and less distracted.  I feel more centered and less affected.   Not to say I will watch someone make an obvious mistake, but sometimes not feeling a compulsion to help or make it better or prevent a fall is the best thing for everyone.   I try to be honest and tell people what I'm doing and if they care to know, I'll tell them why I'm doing it that way, but I no longer feel a need to justify myself or convince them to try it themselves.   Maybe it will be better for them, or perhaps it wouldn't.  Either way - as CS Lewis has said, "Experience - the most brutal of teachers but you'll learn, my God, you'll learn."   Most often, people have to see it themselves anyways.