Tomorrow I will leave for something completely new to me. A solo trip. I'm really looking forward to a brand new experience - what feeling(s) will it invoke - freedom, loneliness.... how will I choose to spend my time, what will the place be like, what energizes me the most, what is the most difficult? It's been a hard week - uncertainty at work, J with a dental issue, disagreements with my ex.... and yet, here I am - ready to pack and head out. As I look at the challenges I have faced and continue to face, I realize how much resistance I am building. Things that used to make me crumble, I can now tolerate pretty calmly. I know better how to engage and how to not --- where can I impact change and where do I only spin my wheels. An exercise in effective use of time and energy.... a critical skill if I want to do anything that matters.
"If you're brave enough to stay with your pain - to refuse to abandon yourself during the breaking - to feel it all.... your reward eventually is a brand new life. The newness is terrifying - and hard - and it's also the whole damn point down here. Don't look back - we're not going that way. That was then. This is now. Carry onward, warriors." - Glennon Doyle
I'll be here. How bad could it be?!! :)
