Caught myself

The other day I was describing a successful, pretty quasi-famous woman - I said, "she seems like a b*tch".   and just then, I caught myself in a very typical and hard to break habit.  Why is it because a woman is attractive, confident and sure of herself - do we (women, likely more than men) say something derogatory.   Why can't we say - I aspire to be like her.  Or, I wonder if she's as secure as she seems, if so, how wonderful, that must have been a lot of work.

I believe Oprah, Brene Brown and others are probably at a slight advantage since they are heavier than average.  It makes them less threatening to women.  When you see a very attractive woman, why is the instinct to try and cut her down.   Find a fault.  Assume the worst.

I caught myself, and will keep catching myself.   Instead, I want to replace that knee jerk response with something positive.