Thursday, June 21, 2018

June 21, 2018

“You do an experiment because your own philosophy makes you want to know the result. It’s too hard, and life is too short, to spend your time doing something because someone else has said it’s important. You must feel the thing yourself…” - Gary Zukav

Continuing the journey towards self-acceptance.  In it, awaits my freedom. 

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Monday, June 18, 2018

Father's Day by Elizabeth Gilbert

Bookmarking this post from Elizabeth Gilbert on Father's Day.    Everything I aspire to be as a parent: unconditional love.   

In other wordsThe beginning of love is the will to let those we love be perfectly themselves, the resolution not to twist them to fit our own image. If in loving them we do not love what they are, but only their potential likeness to ourselves, then we do not love them: we only love the reflection of ourselves we find in them.  Thomas Menton

Dear Ones:
In honor of Father’s Day, I want to explain the supreme beauty behind this little note that my Dad left in my home a few weeks ago.
First of all, a little about my Dad. He’s a true conservative by nature; a lifelong Republican:, a veteran; an engineer; a farmer; married to the same woman for over 50 years; was employed by the same company for his entire career; and is still living in the same house that he bought in 1973.
By contrast, please consider his daughter, me: A liberal, twice-divorced creative type; a wide-ranging spiritual seeker who regularly visits psychics and shamans; a follow-your-heart sort of gal, who announced to her family last year that she was in love with a woman; and — most of all — someone who cannot stay STILL.
By actual count, in the last 20 years I have lived in 12 different homes. (This doesn’t include places where I have “stayed”; I’m just counting the places where my name was on the actual lease or deed.)
What do you do if you are a man like my father, and you end up with a daughter like this? Well, if you are John Gilbert, you just love her. That’s it. You don’t need to understand her. You don’t need to change her. You just love her.
And when your daughter invites you to come visit the TWELFTH domicile she’s inhabited in the last two decades (a 600 square-foot apartment this time, by the way, when she used to live in a fancy five bedroom house on the top of a hill) do you react? Well, obviously you leave her a note at the end of your visit that says: “LOVE THE APT. THE BEST YET.”
Fathers of the world, take a lesson from my Dad: THIS is how to love your children. Because even though I am almost 50 years old, I will always be my father’s child, and the only thing I need to know is that I’m always OK in his eyes.
Thank you, Dad, for never needing me to be anything other than what I am, to earn your affection. I return the favor by loving you exactly as YOU are. Which is easy, because you are perfect.❤️ LG
(PS: And thanks for loving my apartment, Dad! I love it too)
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Wednesday, June 13, 2018

Ghost ship

"I’ll never know and neither will you of the life you don’t choose. We’ll only know that whatever that sister life was, it was important and beautiful and not ours. It was the ghost ship that didn’t carry us. There’s nothing to do but salute it from the shore...." 

One of the greatest Tiny Beautiful things letters there ever was.  

Friday, June 8, 2018

Anthony Bourdain, Rest in Peace

News of Anthony Bourdain's death by suicide arrived this morning.  My heart sank.  He has been my idol for years.  I devoured his shows and his books.  No matter how difficult my day had been, his words filled me with hope.  Of course, life above the surface can be very different than life below....

I guess today I am just grateful that he LIVED.  The work he did made such a positive impact on my life and countless others.  I'm grateful that his disease did not stop him from what he was able to produce.   I'm sad to know that he suffered so badly.   I'm sad that the world won't benefit from his gifts anymore.  I hope that he has found peace in his passing.  I hope that his loved ones understand more than we do. 

I'm also glad that I saw him a few years ago when he toured.  I'm glad that I didn't wait until next time, made an excuse, said it was too far or I didn't have a babysitter.  A reminder to seize the day.  What if tomorrow doesn't come or it comes in a different package than you planned. 

Life is rarely what it seems.  Today, like many days, I surrender to the unanswerable.

"Maybe that's enlightenment enough, to know that there is no final resting place of the mind, no moment of smug clarity.  Perhaps wisdom is realizing how small I am, and unwise, and how far I have yet to go" - Anthony Bourdain. 

My prayers for eternal peace to an amazing teacher and light to so many. 

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Thursday, June 7, 2018

preK graduation!

Today was your end of the year "performance" to celebrate the end of Preschool.   We had a great year at St. Joseph's!  When we started that school, we had just moved and this was the first time we were going to try our new schedule and our new family dynamic.   I'm so proud of your dad and I for managing, even when things get hard, and leading with our commitment to YOU.  More than us, I'm so proud of you - for always adjusting, for being brave, for making new friends and handling all of the changes with grace and strength.  You are stronger than you will ever know! 

So, today, we celebrated.  You were nervous - worried that you wouldn't know the songs - but we knew you'd do just great.  Guess what - they called your name and you were all smiles for the rest of the performance!!  Waving at us, thumbs up, and singing loud & proud!    A reminder that bravery isn't not feeling afraid, but it's feeling that fear and doing it anyways. 

Once they started announcing your classmates, you clapped for every.single.kid.   Your empathy and huge heart have been defining characteristics since you were a baby.  ALWAYS looking after others, concerned about them, aware of their feelings.   It is a gift that comes so easily to you. 

So, today and every day - I am once again a proud mama.  On with our journey we go!

Wednesday, June 6, 2018


A student once asked how he would know the Truth if he found it.  "You know the Truth, because the Truth works.  When your life works better, when drama and chaos get tiresome, and goodness and peace are your preferred companions.  When you are naturally happier, stronger and more deeply aligned with people and place, you can assume you are touching on the Truth."

Always working towards this.  more peace.

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Tuesday, June 5, 2018

June 5, 2018

"Don't raise your kids to have more than you had, raise them to be more than you were...."

The having isn't hard.  The being is the challenge that I'm up for.