For its first years this "garden in the web" was my intentional space to find some positivity and gratitude, or jot down a favorite quote for easy retrieval. As J entered my life, it became a fantastic way to keep memories of what he was up to - the small treasures of life with a toddler, fleeting joy-filled memories that I knew would become a blur as time passed by.
As I shifted careers, I found myself with less time in the office and the frequency of my posting slowed to essentially nothing. I transitioned from a marriage that was no longer serving either of it's participants. We agreed that life as it was could leave J with a very confused model of what "healthy adult" was and we agreed that J would be better with two healthy homes than one unhealthy one. Walking through those woods was the most difficult period of my life but I knew one thing to be true, the only way through it was through it. It could not be avoided if I wanted what I knew I could/would have - where I am today. Gratefully it has been a few years now. God sent me an angel, the only way I can really describe that, and that was S - a guy who loved me where I was and helped me get where I am. Through unconditional love, tireless listening, my favorite sense of humor and energy to lead me on the world's most brilliant adventures, I was not only brought back to myself, but better. My gratitude is deeper than the words on this page can express.
So, as I moved from a soul in despair, seeking answers, to a place of gratitude and peacefulness, I also found myself with less of a reason to visit this space. For the most part, my knots were untangled.
Sometimes I post wordy thoughts on my social media accounts now so there lives a bit of a life-journal from the past few years when I haven't been here but I think this space is more appropriate and would like to return to it as I work out something that is currently on my mind. So, for this season of the blog we'll likely hear a somewhat new voice, still observing and attempting to problem-solve, but perhaps the knots to untangle are less about the self and more about us. So here we begin musings of what life is like for a 41 year old female in Massachusetts living in 2022. With plenty of joyful snip-its of life with my growing boy, of course.
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Kids continue to wear masks in school. VA turns to a red governor as angry parents demand for more transparency (among other things...). Blue musicians and authors leave Spotify in a revolt against Joe Rogan. Canada hosts the largest trucking rally in the history of the world against vaccine mandates.
The left hates the right. The right hates the left. It's hard to find a centrist media outlet because nobody wants to listen to a side that doesn't confirm what they believe to be true. One pokes the other. The other pokes back. I've noticed that they usually poke back about entirely different issues. For example, "You anti-vaxxed people are ruining the country" // "close the border, millions are coming in" Discussion, tolerance, desire to understand, listen, forgive, compassion - harder and harder to find at least in the main stream circuits.
In the physical world, I believe in very few absolutes. As someone trying to become more educated in history, I see the patterns of mankind play themselves like a broken record and yet, change is too difficult a burden to bear. So we find ourselves where we usually do - many in pain and and our collective suffering intensifies. Joy is lost to sorrow. Families unravel. A tale as old as time.
Like any growth, we meet ourselves where we are with a desire for a different outcome. We ask for the strength we need to do it.
In the midst of Winter, when the days are cold and wind can pierce, remind us of the warmth of your love.
In the midst of Winter, when the days are short, dawn comes late, and dusk arrives early, remind us that in the darkness your light still shines.
In the midst of Winter, when the flowers of spring still lie hidden in the Earth, when leaves are off the trees, and the world can seem bleak, remind us that Easter is but a short time away.
And when in our lives we feel as if we are experiencing a season of winter, reach out to us with the power of your resurrection so that we may feel the warmth of your love and see your light that alone can take away the darkness of our soul. - Cal Wick
