Friday, May 27, 2016

What I've been doing

the days fly by.  the weeks fly by.  I have intentions to make it to this space but inevitably something distracts me. 

Here are some things I've read, thought about, collected and some happenings from our life.  Have a great long weekend ~*

: Our garden produced it's first red strawberry. 
: Does J have acting in his future?  He recites line by line the words to little cartoons he watches and   books he loves.  Melts my heart!
: Today he packed his backpack and put on his froggy boots all by himself.  Turning into a little boy right before our eyes. 
: Entertaining and family time for the next three days. 

"Love lets go. Need hold on. This is the way you can tell the difference.   Let go of expectation, let go of requirements and rules and regulations that you would impose on your loved ones." - Neale Donald Walsch

"Here is the importance of bearing witness.  We do not grow alone. Talents do not prosper in a hothouse of ambition and neglect and hungry anger; love does not arrive by horseback or prayer or good intentions.  We need the eyes, the arms, and the witness of others to grow, to know that we have existed, that we have mattered, that we have made our mark.  And each of us has a distinct mark that colors our surroundings, that flavors the recipe of 'experience' in which we find ourselves; but we remain blind, without identity, until someone witnesses us."  Tennessee Williams

And Alec Baldwin's podcast episode "Here's the Thing".   Love it.  The one with Jerry Seinfeld was perfection. 

Monday, May 23, 2016

Our weekend

The pure joy of a 3 year old at Clown Town, a tradition older than his mama.   This little guy fills our lives and especially our weekends with so much elation.  He is so enthusiastic about it all. All weekend long I hear, "come on Mama, let's..... <dig, run, chase, hide things, play with cars, play in the dirt, sing songs, dance, see friends, take a walk>...."  It really doesn't matter what he's doing, he loves it all.  My boy.  So content. So loved.  

Wednesday, May 18, 2016

More good stuff from Seth G.

The short run and the long run
It's about scale. Pick a long enough one (or a short enough one) and you can see the edges.
In the short run, there's never enough time.
In the long run, constrained resources become available.
In the short run, you can fool anyone.
In the long run, trust wins.
In the short run, we've got a vacancy, hire the next person you find.
In the long run, we spend most of our time with the people we've chosen in the short run.
In the short run, decisions feel more urgent and less important at the same time.
In the long run, most decisions are obvious and easy to make.
In the short run, it's better to panic and obsess on emergencies and urgencies.
In the long run, spending time with people you love, doing work that matters, is all that counts.
In the short run, trade it all for attention.
In the long run, it's good to own it (the means of production, the copyrights, the process).
In the short run, burn it down, someone else will clean up the problem.
In the long run, the environment in which we live is what we need to live.
In the short run, better to cut class.
In the long run, education pays off.
In the short run, tearing people down is a great way to get ahead.
In the long run, building things of value makes sense.
Add up the short runs, though, and you're left with the long run. It's going to be the long run a lot longer than the short run will last.
Act accordingly.

Monday, May 16, 2016

Thursday, May 12, 2016

On Mother's Day

We had a great day.  It wasn't fancy - I slept in on Sunday, went on a solo Starbucks run for my favorite coffee, hit the garden store.   Spent the afternoon playing with my guy and making a special card for Grammy - he LOVES to make cards, ever since Valentine's Day - it's been one of his favorite activities.  Clearly he gets a lot of postive affirmation because when you ask, "What will Grammy say when you give her this card" His response: "I looove it!"   Sure enough, when he handed over his proud artwork, full of construction paper grass he cut himself, a cloud made with cotton balls and some farm animals, Grammy responded "I Loooove it".     We are lucky.  It was a very nice day.

I like reading all the Mother's Day reflections around the internet, too.  This one in particular - yes. 

Being a mother has forever been an identity, a status, a relationship, an intuition. Today it has turned into a quest for perfection, an unreachable Olympus. This new ideal fills women with anxiety, peddling the joys out of Motherhood. Ironically when women in the West free themselves of patriarchy, they replace it with a new master in the home. The mandate of motherhood as full time and all embracing, which graces babies with organic baby food and diaper clothes, is a return of regressive burdens and makes mothers feel "not good enough” in the grip of constant guilt and self doubt. The current child centeredness has reached an apex of folly and as we know, when mom is unhappy, society suffers. Giving her a break once a year on Mother's Day is not enough, no matter how big the bouquet and how effusive the cards.  Esther Perel. 

Friday, May 6, 2016

Mother's Day

My reflections after 3.5 years:

What is your favorite part of being a mom:   I created this little boy.  He grew in my belly and now grows in my home and in our love.  He has taught me so much about strength, capacity, true love. My life did not feel complete before he was born and now it does.  He had been waiting for us, and us for him.

What is the most difficult part of being a mom:  Loss of independence.  It's not just my life anymore.  I have to always consider how our behavior and choices affects this young person.  Working full time and raising a toddler doesn't allow for much alone time, which I crave and need.

What is your proudest moment since being a mom:  J is a kind, patient, funny, content boy.  He always has been.  We were blessed but I like to think that he is being raised by parents who love him unconditionally and he reflects the happiness and peace we strive for oursleves.  Watching him be kind, empathetic, and curious - no matter the setting - makes me feel sucessful in my intentions as his mother.

What do I wish for him:   I wish him good health - mind, spirit and body.  With that he will be able to accomplish whatever he seeks.  I hope we can help him to recognize his strengths and his passions and encourage him to fearlessly pursue his dreams.  

My favorite words on parenting, by Brene Brown:
The Wholehearted Parenting Manifesto
Above all else, I want you to know that you are loved and lovable. You will learn this from my words and actions—the lessons on love are in how I treat you and how I treat myself.
I want you to engage with the world from a place of worthiness. You will learn that you are worthy of love, belonging, and joy every time you see me practice self-compassion and embrace my own imperfections.
We will practice courage in our family by showing up, letting ourselves be seen, and honoring vulnerability. We will share our stories of struggle and strength. There will always be room in our home for both.
We will teach you compassion by practicing compassion with ourselves first; then with each other. We will set and respect boundaries; we will honor hard work, hope, and perseverance. Rest and play will be family values, as well as family practices.
You will learn accountability and respect by watching me make mistakes and make amends, and by watching how I ask for what I need and talk about how I feel.
I want you to know joy, so together we will practice gratitude.
I want you to feel joy, so together we will learn how to be vulnerable.
When uncertainty and scarcity visit, you will be able to draw from the spirit that is a part of our everyday life.
Together we will cry and face fear and grief. I will want to take away your pain, but instead I will sit with you and teach you how to feel it.
We will laugh and sing and dance and create. We will always have permission to be ourselves with each other. No matter what, you will always belong here.
As you begin your Wholehearted journey, the greatest gift that I can give to you is to live and love with my whole heart and to dare greatly.
I will not teach or love or show you anything perfectly, but I will let you see me, and I will always hold sacred the gift of seeing you. Truly, deeply, seeing you.

Wednesday, May 4, 2016


Creativity is just connecting things. When you ask creative people how they did something, they feel a little guilty because they didn’t really do it, they just saw something. It seemed obvious to them after a while. That’s because they were able to connect experiences they’ve had and synthesize new things. And the reason they were able to do that was that they’ve had more experiences or they have thought more about their experiences than other people. Unfortunately, that’s too rare a commodity. A lot of people in our industry haven’t had very diverse experiences. So they don’t have enough dots to connect, and they end up with very linear solutions without a broad perspective on the problem. The broader one’s understanding of the human experience, the better design we will have. - Steve Jobs