Sunday, January 31, 2016

Little Blue Truck

My boy reciting (practically verbatim) the entire Little Blue Truck story to himself - with perfect inflection, animal sounds etc - while I enjoy my coffee and quiet morning --- hard to be better than this.   Happy Sunday.

Saturday, January 30, 2016


"I measure happiness in moments, " writes Elizabeth Lesser.  I surrender to her great words over and over again.   I used to strive to be "happy".  When, inevitably I wasn't - whether for a day, a week, an hour - I desperately tried to remedy it.  What's wrong?!!  My marriage, my house, my job, my family, my LIFE.   I panicked and tried to solve the equation.  Looking for the concrete x.  The missing link. The puzzle piece in the wrong place.  Upturning everything....

There is no answer.  There is no holy grail.  It is only waves.  Waves of happy, waves of sad.  Waves of frustration.  Waves of elation.  You ride them while you have them.  You release them when they break.  You keep going forward.   You never stop learning.  And never stop trying.   You never give up on yourself, on your path toward deeper consciousness, on your path toward peace - with it all.

Tuesday, January 12, 2016


The internet is filled with stories of David Bowie after his passing yesterday.  A friend of mine posted "Dad, we didn't always see eye to eye but we always had Bowie...."   We also grew up with Bowie blaring through the speakers.  My dad's taste in music was eclectic and wonderful - on a given Saturday we might wake up to him blaring Bowie, or dancing to Billy Idol, contemplating with Pink Floyd, rocking with the Rolling Stones or just "groovin'" (his word) to  Sinead O'Connor! :)

Parents are funny.  The process of both becoming an adult and a parent myself has made it so much easier to see them for what they were/are.  Just two flawed humans doing the very best they could - especially for their kids.   Mistakes were a plenty and so was the love and good intention.

As we say goodbye to a rock legend, I thank him for his bravery, vision, and genius.  He will never die because the music that brought fathers and daughters together, or helped someone truly dance (!), or just make their own experience as a human a little easier will live forever.   Thank you, David Bowie.  You were a gift.

Friday, January 1, 2016

welcome, 2016

Another year here.  One of my favorite parts of this blog is flipping back and seeing what was on my mind, what were my goals, what was I working through....  I've been posting here for 5 years (!) so some good work has been done.

Ever the reflective person, I love taking this moment in time to think a bit about what was accomplished last year and look forward to what I'd like to do in the new year.

I set the word action as my mantra for the year.  and I did it....  leaving the security of a job I'd had for 8 years.   My new work experience was wonderful.  It gave me more time with my family, reminded me of my strengths, and met some inspiring new people.  What I hadn't really expected, was what it would teach me about myself.  Changing my environment, meant seeing patterns as my own - not the result of a job, or a person, or anything external.  Learning that ---- processing it deep in my bones --- was a gift given to me by 2015.

This year my word is strength.  Strength over self doubt.  Strength over fear.  Strength over the external.  To be a pillar of my own.  No matter the wind, no matter the circumstance to stand tall in what I know is true and believe in myself and my ability,   "Anyone to whom you've given responsibility for your experience, please take it back...." will be a daily meditation.

It's a happy day.  A fresh start.  I have a beautiful son, a marriage grounded in love, friends who are honest and also trying their best, and all the strength I need.

Happy New Year ~~~***