Tuesday, June 27, 2017

The Handmaid's Tale

Last week I finished Margaret Atwood's Handmaid's Tale.  It haunted me for days after I finished it and was such a good read.   It's not a book that I would normally be drawn to - set in a futuristic world run by Evangelicals but it really expanded my thoughts and left the reader with many, many things to think about.

In addition to the provocative story line, Margaret Atwood's writing was just beautiful.  A few lines just stopped me cold.  Her writing was succinct and powerful and a pleasure to read.  It was a book that made me a better person for having read it.  You don't come across one of those every day. 

 "I admired my mother in some ways, although things between us were never easy. She expected too much from me, I felt.  She expected me to vindicate her life for her, and the choices she'd made. I didn't want to live my life on her terms. I didn't want to be the model offspring, the incarnation of her ideas. We used to fight about that. I am not your justification for existence, I once said to her once.  I want her back, I want everything back, the way it was. But there is no point to it, this wanting." 

“They wore blouses with buttons down the front that suggested the possibilities of the word undone. These women could be undone; or not. They seemed to be able to choose. ” 

“We lived, as usual by ignoring. Ignoring isn't the same as ignorance, you have to work at it.” 

“Better never means better for everyone... It always means worse, for some.”


Thursday, June 22, 2017

Grammy

Every Wednesday, since J has been 3 months old, has been spent with his Grammy.  What a gift that routine has been...   My mom was a 3rd grade teacher before having kids and then a stay at home mom raising her own three.  I commend her for raising independent, strong, professional career women despite that route not appealing to her very much.

At 70 years old, she is all creativity and play.   Yesterday I got a text from her telling me that they spent 4 hours at the pool and then came home and "found monsters" in her neighborhood and made them invisible with squirt guns.  ...and rode his jeep ....and had a picnic.  Of course.

Joseph lights up when he sees her and cries when its time to go.  She is pure love and joy and fun in his eyes.  There is always a game - mechanic Grammy and mechanic Joe was happening last week while they "fixed" his toy cars.  Or a car wash, a bicycle wash, an adventure.... a simple, old school, adventure.  A pause of gratitude for her patience, creativity and love of my little boy, her grandson. Their love is electric.


Wednesday, June 21, 2017

Cup of Choices

My little guy has a new saying, "Mama, I'm going to give you a cup of choices."  He thinks he's got it right, doesn't realize it's "a couple of choices"... but it's too sweet to correct him.

Choices...   One of the most important lessons I learned.  We choose how we respond.  We choose how we rebuild.  We choose to make decisions and live with their consequences.  We choose to be better.  We choose to learn.  We choose to push ourselves beyond what's easy or comfortable.

Seth Godin says:
"Do what I say" vs.
    "Use your best judgment."
"I'm in charge because I have authority" vs.
    "Take responsibility if you care."
"It's simple and easy but ineffective" vs.
    "It's difficult and a bit complex, but you can handle it and it's more likely to work."
"It's the same as last time" vs.
    "This might not work."
"Because I said so" vs.
    "Show your work."
"Here's the kid's menu" vs.
    "Learn to cook."
"Comply" vs.
    "Question."
"Consume" vs.
    "Produce."
"You haven't been picked" vs.
    "It's always your turn."
"You have no choice" vs.
    "It's always up to you, if you care enough."

We always have a cup of choices.    Thanks J for reminding me.

Tuesday, June 20, 2017

Summer delights

> Garden fresh tomatoes
> Kayaking
> Farmers markets
> Card games
> Beach trips with my boy
> Road trips
> Puzzles
> Ferry Ride
> New places


Monday, June 19, 2017

A muscle

Writing is a muscle, creativity is a muscle, the body is comprised of muscles.  What a gift that we have the opportunity to make them stronger.

What I was into this weekend:
1. James Altucher
2. My bike
3. Venezuelan hammock
4. Roasted veggies - always
5. Interviews




(source) Canadian Rocky Rail Trip....

Thursday, June 15, 2017

Hatch

What if seeds didn't have to break through the ground.  Or baby birds to crack open an egg.  Would they be strong enough to survive?

Are we better for our struggles?  Are we stronger, more compassionate, more resilient because of them.  Would you trade them for a more simple path or are the very things that nearly break us the same things that set us free.  

“Adversity is a natural part of being human. It is the height of arrogance to prescribe a moral code or health regime or spiritual practice as an amulet to keep things from falling apart. Things do fall apart. It is in their nature to do so. When we try to protect ourselves from the inevitability of change, we are not listening to the soul. We are listening to our fear of life and death, our lack of faith, our smaller ego's will to prevail. To listen to your soul is to stop fighting with life--to stop fighting when things fall apart; when they don't go our away, when we get sick, when we are betrayed or mistreated or misunderstood. To listen to the soul is to slow down, to feel deeply, to see ourselves clearly, to surrender to discomfort and uncertainty and to wait.” - Elizabeth Lesser  

Wednesday, June 14, 2017

Proust Questionnaire 6-15

Making my way through:

6.__What is your greatest extravagance?  A really good and expensive dinner. No regrets. 
__7.__What is your current state of mind?   Closure of something that was real and true and over. 
__8.__What do you consider the most overrated virtue?  Nobility. 
__9.__On what occasion do you lie?   To protect the person asking for the truth. 
__10.__What do you most dislike about your appearance? Fair skin in the summertime. 
__11.__Which living person do you most despise? Waste of my time.... I don't like people who hurt me and are disloyal.  But I don't spend time or energy despising.
__12.__What is the quality you most like in a man?  Self-awareness, courage, intelligence. 
__13.__What is the quality you most like in a woman? Self-awareness, courage, intelligence. 
__14.__Which words or phrases do you most overuse?  ?
__15.__What or who is the greatest love of your life?   Joseph Cassidy Campos 

Tuesday, June 13, 2017

Divine Dance

Did you ever imagine that what we call "vulnerability" might just be the key to ongoing growth?  In my experience, healthily vulnerable people use every occasion to expand, change and grow.  Yet it is a risky position to live undefended, in a kind of constant openness to the other - because it means other could sometimes wound us.  Indeed, vulnera comes from the Latin "to wound".  But only if we take this risk do we also allow the opposite possibility: the other might also gift us, free us, and even love us.   .....this then seems to be the work of the Spirit: to keep you vulnerable to life and love itself and to resist all that destroys the Life Flow."  - Father Richard Rohr and Mike Morrell

Thursday, June 8, 2017

June 8, 2017

"He is my truest mirror, my honest reflection, my most profound joy, the subject of my deepest fears.  My child connects me to the most primal parts of myself.  I well up with his tears, I cringe with his pain, brighten with his smile, suffer with his disappointments... In grace. In innocence. In gratitude.  With you, I am finally me. - Gabrielle Roth


Wednesday, June 7, 2017

Bourdain

It isn't always pretty.  It isn't always comfortable.  Sometimes it hurts, it even breaks your heart.  But that's okay.  The journey changes you; it should change you.  It leaves marks on your memory, on your consciousness, on your heart and on your body.  You take something with you.   Hopefully you leave something behind.