What I'm Reading: Fleishman is in Trouble

Finished this book recently and felt compelled to write something about it.  Although the writing was fast moving with some good observations about relationships, life, marriage etc.  I ultimately felt utterly saddened by the narrative and it's characters and even more so, the book is getting rave reviews which makes me curious about the ways in which people are finding this story relevant. 

Ultimately, the marriage of two self-absorbed professionals unravels and the third character faces her own crisis and comes to the conclusion that life is a slog and we should surrender to our children and quite pining for the good old days of our twenties. 

Perhaps it hit home as I think it reinforces and oversimplifies the stereo-type of divorcees (particularly women) as self-centered, immature reckless dreamers.  The ex-husband is also painful.  I think the author tries to add a comedy through his experiences with dating apps but there is so little regard for the humans on the other side of these apps and their dignity that I just didn't think it was funny. I was hoping he may mature but I didn't see any growth or shift in his character at all. 

I found my favorite review of the book on Goodreads and in summary, the reader says:  Brodesser-Akner's characters all come from a narrow slice of wealthy, social-climbing NY/NJ life; these men/women/marriage/divorce problems are very much Upper West Side men/women/marriage/divorce problems. And everyone here seems . . . stuck. Characters find themselves in time & money crunches, resentful of spouses & friends & co-workers, but those crunches are the product of choices—choices that are neither inevitable nor permanent. It's irritating that none of the characters seems to recognize that there are alternative ways of living, communicating, parenting.

I would add that I think their self-obsession was sad and irritating.  I suppose that if you have a singular purpose in life: to maximize your satisfaction, aging is depressing.   On the other hand, my life has been more full with age - my relationships are more honest and connected, loving my son brings me incredible joy, and I travel and have dreams.  Thankfully, it seems I'm not in trouble. 

Asking

You miss 100% of the shots you don't take.

Sure, that expression sounds a little corny but it's also the absolute truth.  So many things in life need to be asked for or done with intention.  My younger self felt self-conscious "I hate asking for things" meanwhile I was frustrated and subtly resentful of things that were happening for people around me.

We have three summer interns on the team this year.  One of them just asked if he could continue working in a part time capacity this fall.   The team has been happy with his contribution (and the other two, as well) but he was the only one who asked and sure, enough - we were able to secure a part time position for him.   Had he not asked, we would not have sought it out.   A second example is a fundraiser I'm chairing for my son's school.   A few years ago my office was located next to a prominent Boston hotel and I became friendly with the General Manager's assistant, seeing her most nights in the gym and occasionally working with her for events.  The hotel was always generous in gifting overnight stays to various fundraiser's my team was involved in...   Although I hadn't talked to my friend in a few years, I sent her a note and asked if they might consider helping J's school.  Sure enough we exchanged a few pleasant emails and she secured a one night stay donation for me!   Had I not asked, it wouldn't have happened!

Moral of the story, ask for what you want and you just may get it.   Sit back quietly and hope it lands at your feet and it's almost guaranteed not to.  Better late than never to learn this lesson! 

Banff Review - in summary

As you can see, our Banff adventure was a wonderful and fairly indulgent introduction to the Canadian Rockies.  I think I first posted a picture of Lake Moraine as a travel goal back in 2011.  Anytime I saw a photo of it or thought about "where would I want to go..." it was there.  Having such high expectations can be slightly unnerving in the days leading up to the trip, but I can genuinely say the trip exceeded my high expectations!!  The beauty, the company, the food, the hospitality, the pace - each and every thing went just so well.     As any good trip will do, it left me thinking about where to next, and reminded me of this enormous world we have the privilege to discover.   Cheers to more dreams coming true ~~*

“Happiness is the consequence of personal effort. You fight for it, strive for it, insist upon it, and sometimes even travel around the world looking for it. You have to participate relentlessly in the manifestations of your own blessings. And once you have achieved a state of happiness, you must never become lax about maintaining it. You must make a mighty effort to keep swimming upward into that happiness forever, to stay afloat on top of it.”   - Elizabeth Gilbert

Banff Review - Activities

Initially, I was unsure if 7 days was the right amount of time for the trip to Lake Louise.  Would we have enough to do?  Temperatures in the Rockies aren't warm and as such there aren't outdoor pools to lounge at in case we had a day or two to fill...  however, there was more than enough to do and in fact there were a few of our lower priority items, mountain biking, yoga etc, that we didn't get around to.  

Here is a list of how we spent our time.  I'm recording it here as a reference for myself and anyone else who may wish to travel to Banff!  

Saturday: depart Boston. Connect in Toronto.  Arrive Calgary.  Rent car, drive approx. 1.5 hours to Banff and stop for lunch in town.  Drive another 50 minutes to Lake Louise.  We went to Lake Moraine on our first day.  That is one of the "harder" lakes to visit because they have very small parking lots that fill up quickly and it's gorgeous and on most people's lists.  We visited at approximately 5pm on a drizzly early evening and we drove right in!   Pictures were as scenic as can be and the crowds weren't bad at all.  They close the road into the lake once the lot fills and we realized that the road was closed nearly every day after our visit!   My suggestion: take advantage of drizzly, rainy weather.  The lakes are still beautiful and the crowds really thin out!     After Lake Moraine, we checked in, had a light dinner and went to bed. 

Sunday: Hike Devil's Thumb via the Tea House and Big Beehive.   This was the longest hiking day we had (about 11 miles).   Most people who hike at Lake Louise hike to the Tea House (a historic and delicious!) lodge to have lunch, take a break and enjoy the views.   From there we continued on to Big Beehive, a moderately difficult, but no more difficult than the first half, hike with some of my favorite views.  We were feeling energetic and decided on a whim to continue to Devil's Thumb.  This one was significantly harder, very doable - some scrambling but not dangerous - but quite high.  The views were spectacular and I'm glad we pushed and I ventured a bit out of my comfort zone to complete that one! 

Monday: We gave our legs a break and drove to Jasper.  Jasper is about 3 hours from Lake Louise but it's a beautiful ride!  Watch out for tourists we just stop on the road to admire the views or spot wildlife... but other than that... the drive is spectacular.   In Jasper, we booked a boat cruise to the magnificent Spirit Island.  The only way to reach Spirit Island is by Kayak (about 8 hours) or these small tour boats.  They give good information about the area, great photo opportunities and the small boats keep them from feeling too "touristy".  Spirit Island is a must see, in my opinion. 

Tuesday: White Water Rafting with White Water Adventures.  Loved this trip!!  This was my third time rafting in the Northwest and each time seems more beautiful than the last.  For me, it's just the right mix of adrenaline and scenic beauty and the guides are always so well-traveled, warm and interesting.  We did the Traditional because it was the longest duration on the river and it mixed both their gentle and their harder courses.   The river was beautiful, the group was extremely organized and well-run and our guide James was an absolute blast.  Loved it!  

Wednesday: Athabasca Glacier Tour.  This was the most touristy thing we did on our trip and we hesitated about whether it was worthwhile, but in the end both agreed it was very cool.   The guides give a great lesson about the history, future and impacts of the glaciers and although very cold that day it was fun to get a chance to visit one.  I felt bad for the people who didn't come dressed in warm clothing, it was about 32 degrees with a harsh wind out there.  The buses with tires the size of me were also kind of fun!   Buy your tickets in advance as there is limited availability and people who didn't have tickets were being told the wait was about 6 hours!   We bought ours the day before and had no issue.  Also, by booking a morning tour, we had no trouble parking.  

Thursday: Hiking Mount Fairview.   We had given our legs ample rest time and heard from a few local sources (aka, the waiter and the retail manager at the onsite outdoor apparel store) that Mt. Fairview was not to be missed if we were willing to do a challenging hike.   It was a great hike.  We saw a total of about 25 people on the trail, in other words virtually desolate for a trail that began at Lake Louise, and the first 2000 feet was a moderate hike with spectacular views nearly the whole way.  The last 1000 feet was challenging, mostly vertical with very little rest, but the feeling of accomplishment was great and the panoramic views at the top were something I'll never forget.  You certainly feel the magic of the Canadian Rockies on this hike!!    Treat yourself to Fondue, in either the Wallister Stube at the Fairmont, or the Post Hotel down the road, and enjoy your guilt-free post hike gluttony!   Yumm! 

Friday: Spa Day!   We treated ourselves to massages, the hot tub and some low key shopping around and a nap on Friday.  Having done so much during the week, it was nice to have a day to just relax. 

Saturday: Back to reality.   1pm departures meant we had to leave mid-morning and get into Boston around 10pm.  A long day but my heart was so full from one of the most spectacular experiences of my life!!

(This post would be better with pics, I'll try to upload a few once I have more time) 

Banff Review - Fairmont Lake Louise

I have been back from Banff for a few days.  While getting back into the swing of reality, spending quality time with my little J after traveling without him for the week, and dealing with a few miscellaneous minor headaches...  I want to be sure to capture my recent trip to Banff National Park, truly the trip of a lifetime!

We arrived on Saturday, July 5 for a 7 night vacation.  It was wonderfully planned and I wouldn't change a thing!   I'll try to use a few blog posts to talk about parts of the trip.  To start, where we stayed.

We did something that I think is not traditional for visiting that area, which is to stay at the Fairmont Lake Louise for the entire duration of our trip.  The Fairmont can appear expensive, and as such many people either don't stay there when visiting the Lake or they stay for 1 or two nights and move onto Banff or Jasper.  I'd like to make the case for staying at the Fairmont for the duration of the trip: 

-- Lake Louise is centrally located in Banff National Park - it is about an hour drive to the town of Banff, a close drive (under an hour) to White Water Rafting and the Athabasca Glacier, and a full day (4 hour) but doable drive to Jasper.   By staying in one place, we could access all of the activities we wanted to enjoy without having to constantly be on the road. 

-- You can take advantage of some great deals offered by the Fairmont.  We got the "Buy 5 nights, get 2 free" + free parking ($30/day) + $350 resort credit (to be used for dining, spa or onsite shopping).   This took the average cost per day down substantially (more than 30%!).   Do the math for the whole trip before being scared off by the price per night.

-- The comforts of unpacking and staying put.  This trip required some extremes in packing - very cold weather gear, nice outfits for dinner, dirty clothes for hiking/rafting etc.  It was nice to be able to unpack and have things hung in the closet instead of always living out of a bag.

-- Getting to know the hotel well.  The Fairmont had about 7 restaurants on site.  It was nice to know which bar had the best evening view, who made the best espresso martini, where to get nachos after a hike, what time to go to the hot tub and which waiter gave the best hiking recommendations! :)

-- Being a guest at the Fairmont Lake Louise gives you the best access to the Lake.  Non-guests had a significantly smaller area to enjoy and couldn't dine at the restaurants on site.   The views in the restaurants were spectacular and the food was well above typical hotel dining.  Our wonderful hikes originated from the Lake so being guests there meant we didn't have to stress about arriving on time to secure parking etc. 

-- Banff isn't the most convenient destination (a flight into Calgary and a two hour drive) so it is unlikely it will become a place we visit very often.  That said, we took the opportunity to splurge a bit and really soak up the whole experience.  If you have the means, stay at the Fairmont.  I'd rather cut back on dining or spa or even be more frugal at home for a few months, so that I could travel this way again.

The reason that I said I think it's an untraditional way to explore the area is we didn't see many of the same faces night after night and the servers and people we met at the hotel seemed shocked to hear we were staying so long.   This post is my pitch for doing it this way... I wouldn't think twice! 

View from the room.  Every morning the views changed depending on the skies - sunny, overcast etc. We had simple coffee and yogurt from the deli and ate it in our room.  This was a magical way to start the day and cost less than $15.  Being eye-level with the clouds was unforgettable!  

The Fairview Dining Room was a great spot for dinner with the best views.  But don't miss their bar area.  We almost always had a window seat overlooking the lake and the espresso martini was 5*!