My Labor of Love

This year it was all about Legos!   They've brought you so much joy --- you build the sets and then have so much imaginative play to go along with it.  It's really fun to watch.  I love your tenacity and focus as you build something new and then your wild and crystal clear imagination as you turn a bank truck into the bad guy's vehicle, steal the jewels and make your great escape. 

You asked Santa for two sets: the Thanos set was your highest priority and your Mountain Police Headquarters was the one you asked for the longest and with the most consistency.  Lucky you, Santa brought both!

Yesterday, we lounged in our pajamas and we built the Headquarters.   A triple-decker ensemble with so many details - the espresso machine, the security camera, the bed for the prisoner.  You were so happy that I was building it with you / for you.   A reminder as we bustle through this busy time that what you really want from me is my authentic attention.  As with any labor of love, there was an energy in the room that morning in which I knew you felt your mama's immense love.  Santa may have delivered the Legos, but we created the magic.

Merry Christmas, Little J. 

You Start Dying Slowly

A beautiful poem to bring us into the New Year...

“You start dying slowly
if you do not travel,
if you do not read,
If you do not listen to the sounds of life,
If you do not appreciate yourself.

You start dying slowly
When you kill your self-esteem;
When you do not let others help you.

You start dying slowly
If you become a slave of your habits,
Walking everyday on the same paths…
If you do not change your routine,
If you do not wear different colours
Or you do not speak to those you don’t know.

You start dying slowly
If you avoid to feel passion
And their turbulent emotions;
Those which make your eyes glisten
And your heart beat fast.

You start dying slowly
If you do not change your life when you are not satisfied with your job, or with your love,
If you do not risk what is safe for the uncertain,
If you do not go after a dream,
If you do not allow yourself,
At least once in your lifetime,
To run away from sensible advice.”

― Martha Medeiros (mistakenly attributed to Pablo Neruda by many....   Medeiros is a Brazilian female poet)

Brainpickings

Brain Pickings is in its 12th year.  I think I've been a sporadic visitor for close to 10.  I don't know how she does it.... but I am glad she does.   In an early 2019 resolution to read more, I finished 100 pages of Anne Lamott's Almost Everything this morning.   Maria talks about it in her favorite books of 2018 and also mentions some others which have caught my attention:   How beautiful is this line.... just in time for a new year full of things that have never been. 

“To be a good human being,” philosopher Martha Nussbaum observed, “is to have a kind of openness to the world, an ability to trust uncertain things beyond your own control”

(image)

Christmas 2018

The sun is bright and shining into the apartment, legos are still scattered throughout, Santa's cookie crumbs are still next to the tree and my heart is full.   Christmas 2018 is behind us and it was a wonderful season of joy.   A few days ago, I read: at first: impossible, then difficult, then strange, then normal, finally: wouldn't have it any other way.   It resonated so loudly about the shape of our family and my own path towards wholeness.   This season we seemed to have entered Normal.   Slowly, we begin little traditions - the cousins are up for a Christmas extravagnza in mid-December,  friends & neighbors in the days before the holiday (bowling and crafts and caroling!), and Christmas Day a an easy day in our pajamas for me, J and my parents.   I thank God for his little sweet soul because he brings so much into all of our lives and although Christmas may look different than what I thought - it is perfectly peaceful, calm and happy.  It is so much more than enough. 

This morning the house is quiet and I have a few minutes to pause and reflect.  I feel good.  Life feels good.  I have plans. I have hopes.  I have presence. I have acceptance.  I put an iWatch under the tree from Santa to Mama.   I felt J wasn't the only one who had been good all year.  Moms, not only divorced ones, do so much unrecognized work at Christmas and always.  It felt good to give myself a treat. 

Very spiritual, but not much of a Bible reader, I saw this on a blog I follow the other day:

This morning, I read a few simple words in Luke.⠀

One line. Just one portion of a bigger birth story, a simple pause that follows a long and grueling labor of love and light, of hope and humanity:⠀

⠀

“Mary kept all these things to herself, holding them dear, deep within herself.“⠀

⠀

And I understood one small thing: that invisible work is never invisible. We get to keep it. To hold dear, to hold deep, to carry within ourselves.⠀

How lovely to remember.  The work is never invisible if we do it with love.  As I wrote Christmas cards and organized teacher gifts and helped a neighbor who's husband is sick, I felt lucky that I have the resources, energy and health to do it.  To give freely, without reciprocity or praise, is a joy.  This Christmas, I was filled with the true spirit of the season and it was a very good one. 

Christmas in the City!

I spent a fantastic weekend volunteering with Christmas in the City!   The organization brings a Christmas wonderland to the Boston Convention Center and provides 4,000 kids and their families with a super special day.    On Saturday we prepped the party room and the gifts and on Sunday the children arrived to a winter wonderland spectacular - with a complete carnival, crafts, visiting characters, and their own special gift and backpack to take home.

All in all, it was magical.  The children had a day that they'll never forget and I was so grateful to be able to use my time and good fortune to help deliver something so special.

I was reminded of the great Margaret Meade quote, "Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world; indeed, it's the only thing that ever has"

Teacher Gift

One of my favorite gifting website's is Sarah and Abraham.  I love giving the mealtime sets to a new baby (Joe's set is still going very strong 6 years later!) and the teachers note pads are just the thing with a gift card or cash.   Shipping is always fast and the product quality never disappoints!

Easy Lunch

I've been on a healthier kick these days.  With a tiny bit of thinking ahead and an extra minute in the morning, I can put together a really healthy, really tasty lunch for the office.

Lately it's been: roasted vegetables (whatever I happen to buy), arugula, goat cheese and some stuffed grape leaves or hard boiled eggs (or both).   Writing here so I remember how simple it is!

Attributes of a good friend

:: They feel like home
:: They are honest with you
:: They remind you of your power
:: They support you in your healing
:: They have a rejuvenating presence
:: They hold a vision of your success
:: They support you in new adventures
:: They lift you up with joy and laughter
:: They bring out the best version of you

Yung Pueblo

Christmas Weekend

Another successful family Christmas weekend!   We celebrate a little early now - to accomodate the New Jersey schedules and the large family party.    Joe was all smiles as he celebrated, slept over, sang and played with his favorite cousins!

What I learned...

Although my career hasn't been a straight forward path, I am pleased to be where I am today and I've learned a lot along the way.  If my lessons help anyone else, I'm very glad to share.   A few off the top of my head:

1. Your career is a long game.  Have a plan for where you see yourself in 5 years.  Remember, even the best of circumstances and teams WILL change.  Be prepared for that change by continuing to grow, learn and broaden your network.

2.  Do not burn bridges.  Industries are small and your reputation is important.  People understand that things don't always work out, but do your best to maintain relationships with former colleagues.

3.  Self-motivate.  Just because someone isn't asking for a task to be done, doesn't mean there's not work to do. 

4.  Be useful.  Always.

5.  Your opinion matters, but only sometimes.  People know more than they may vocalize.   You don't have to say everything you think.

I want to go to that place!

Joe and I play a game with the backdrops that come on when the tv is in idle --- like the computer screensavers, they show pictures from all over the world and we race to say "I want to go to that place!!"   Since there are so many places I want to go, I figured I could start a little series here on the blog.

I.  This glamping spot at Slippery Rock Trails in Maine.   Hopefully this summer!!!

https://www.hipcamp.com/maine/slippery-rock-trails/camping-shelter-with-relaxing-views

Hamilton

Broadway's Hamilton came to Boston this fall and on a whim, I bought tickets and went to a Saturday matinee.  I didn't know what to expect - a rap about a founding U.S. father, let's see what all the buzz is about.   Maybe I'll like it, maybe I won't but since it's such a highly touted work and I have the time and resources, let's see.

Well, I LOVED it.  I truly felt like I had witnessed one of those larger than human life works of art; the same feeling I had when inside the Sagrada Familia years ago.  How is a person capable of this genius??!!   To me, masterpieces like that feel spiritual.  There is something superhuman in their creation.  

Inevitably, I have been listening to a few of the songs - That would be enough, Dear Theodosia, It's Quiet Uptown, Who Lives, who dies, who tells your story - since seeing the production and the beautiful lyrics never get old.  That random Saturday morning decision was such a good one!!