Qualities of a great career

I think about this for a few reasons. First, my career is a bit of a fortunate accident. Right place, right time, right fit, hard work. Two, in the context of advice for J. Chances are his workplace options will look very different than anything I can comprehend so I try not to spend too much time worrying about it and think, instead, its best that he is a kind person who pursues his interests and is guided by values and morality. Three, Linked In is full of so much bad advice. It boggles my mind that a site dedicated to professionalism can be so very much misguided. With that, I did screen shot this bit of wisdom. So I'm tacking it on to my little internet bulleting board here at NTL. The 4 Qualities of a Great Career: 1) I enjoy it 2) I'm good at it 3) I make good money * 4) I'm around fascinating people Answer in reverse order: 1) Where are fascinating people? 2) In what ways can I make money with them? 3) Which ones am I good at? 4) Which ones do I enjoy? *I'd add to Point #3 - everyone has a threshold of money that they consider enough. For some, it is multiple homes, for some it is freedom, and so on. There's nothing wrong with any point on the spectrum, as long as you are aligned and providing for your family. As Cheryl Strayed says, "pay your rent and your electric bill."

Creative Chaos Emporium

Google/blogger isn't letting me post photos so I guess we'll be words only for a bit. I found myself in Creative Chaos Emporium in Wakefield yesterday. Such a fun shop. It calls itself a thrift shop for arts and crafts supplies - hello, my heart! I find myself constantly circling around the idea of creativity / faith / community / connection / rest this summer. Accepting that this is a season of exploration... simply, that.

Augustine

Augustinian spirituality has always been what formed my religious understanding. A child of an Augustinian parish, a student at an Augustinian University and a parent in an Augustinian elementary school, it seemed only fitting that I understand the man a bit more. This summer, I am moving through Saint Augustine of Hippo - Selections from Confessions and other essential writings. It is excellent. The historical context courtesy of the translator, Joseph T. Kelley, PhD really helps frame the pieces. The annotations help me when something is harder to understand. However, a surprise, to me, is that its quite digestable AND relevent. The relevance between today and writing from the 300's - early 400's, tells us what we need to know. How little people actually change! Here are a few lines I highlighted: "What, at the present moment, are the evils of humanity? Error and weakness. Either you don't know what to do and you go wrong, you fall into error, or else you know what should be done, and you are overpowered by weakness. So every human evil is error and weakness." Sermon 182:6 As innotated: Ignorance (we do not know what is the right and good thing to do); and weakness (we find no joy or delight in doing what is right and good). As Augustine explains, God's grace operates in us in two ways: enlightening our minds in knowing the good, and delighting our hearts in doing it.

Andrea Bocelli

 "There are not four but five mathematical operations.  The fifth is not studied in school; it is learned by living and growing alongside others, the people we meet.  It is called cooperation, but also trust, care and friendship, and it always arises from an act of love.  Care generates; it does not impoverish.  And it often changes everything.  Bringing this testimony among you is a privilege for me and a gesture of gratitude to those who believed, like my mother, that one plus one never just makes two" - Andrea Bocelli 

Link to Story about his marriage   and beautiful duet

7th grade exchange

Bookmarking this here.  7th grade has been filled with some ups and downs but J, I hope you keep approaching life exactly like this.   If/when you fall, you get back up.  Every single time.  We all fall what's important is what we do next.  

Mary Cassidy <email@gmail.com>	Fri, May 15, 12:21 PM (17 hours ago)
to Joseph

That's great news - thank you for sharing!   Keep working hard, Joe.  You are very smart and Mom and Dad and all your teachers are here to support you.    It feels great to do your best. 

I love you! 

Mom 

On Fri, May 15, 2026 at 12:19 PM Joseph Campos <email> wrote:

Dear, mom, I hope you are having a good day so far, I am emailing to inform you that I have brought up my Latin grade from a 62 to an 86, I checked with Mr. Hartel during advisory and we brought up the grade! I am very happy about this! Thank you,

Sincerely,
Joe
Sent from my iPad

Daragh Fleming

Two Poems by Daragh Fleming that have stopped me in my tracks this week.  They are better listened to than read, so reminder to myself - find the clip online.  

If I ever have boys 

If I ever have boys they’ll be dangerous men

They’ll smile at dogs and children and be a tonic to friends

They’ll send flowers to their mother just because and they’ll be a shoulder for many when the world is too much

My boys will know that vulnerability is strength

They won’t bottle anger, they’ll learn how to express

They won’t let pride be the reason they hide, wearing masks while they’re hurting inside

My boys will be dangerous men

They won’t stay silent even when it’s uncomfortable for them

They’ll learn that their actions are more effective than words but they’ll use their voices to amplify the unheard

They’ll know that love isn’t something to perform

They’ll see beauty in all of its forms

My boys won’t grow learning to emotionally hide

They’ll reshape masculinity into something they like, make it softer to touch

They’ll know that who they are is more than enough

They’ll know that being a man doesn’t mean carrying the burden alone

They’ll learn that an emotional man is a man fully grown

They won’t settle everything with violent swings

They’ll live in truth even when that truth stings

So yeah, if I ever have boys they’ll be dangerous men

but the danger they’ll be won’t be the one society meant

--

If I Ever Have Girls

If I ever have girls, they’ll be feared by weak men.
But to everyone else, they’ll be a consistent friend.
They’ll never lack meaning,
They’ll be gentle and kind,
While breaking every glass ceiling.
They’ll take up space, 
And they’ll like what they like.
They won’t be taught to reduce themselves or hide.
My girls will be feared by weak men.
They’ll demand respect because they deserve it.
They will always know love.
They’ll never feel they have to earn it.
They’ll know their value is inherent
And has nothing to do with their looks.
They’ll be leaders.
They’ll be healers.
Right wrongs, write books.
They’ll be mothers one day if they so choose.
But their value won’t be defined the the use of their wombs.
They’ll be whatever lives in their hearts,
And they’ll know dreams were there to be chased from the start.
My girls will know poetry and song.
They’ll know I will listen when something feels wrong.
They’ll learn that “women are too emotional” is an original lie,
And they’ll not grow up with a father who refuses to cry.
So yeah, my girls will make some weak men shake in their knees.
They won’t be the women that society expects.
They’ll be the women society needs. - Daragh Fleming

I've been playing around with watercolor, just for fun.  

Art

Cheerful, inspiring art as seen on this weekend's beautiful trip with two long time girlfriends at the Mayflower Inn. 

Communication

 Lately, I've been reading a bit about communication styles.  I saved this - pinning it here for future reference: 

10 Phrases the are actually gaslighting but don't sound like it: 

1. I'm sorry you feel that way.  // Better: I'm sorry I contributed to how you're feeling. 

2. That's not what happened. //   Better: That's not how I remember what happened, but I'm open to hearing your side. 

3. It was just a joke // Better: I meant it lightly but it landed badly.  I'm sorry. 

4. You're overreacting.  // Better: This clearly matters to you.  I want to understand why. 

5. You're too sensitive.  // Better: I didn't realize this would hurt you. 

6. You're reading into it.   // Better: I may have missed something important. 

7. Why are we still talking about this.  // Better: I'm feeling uncomfortable.  Can we take a break and come back to this?

8. If you hadn't done this, I wouldn't have reacted that way.  // Better: I felt triggered but my reaction is my responsibility. 

9. You always twist my words.  // Better: That's not what I meant.  Thank you for telling me how it landed. 

10. I guess I'm just a bad partner, friend, family member, etc.   // Better:  What I did was wrong, I'm sorry. 

Accountability builds safety and trust.  Defensiveness destroys it.  

How we spent the snow day (J, 13)

Journaling a bit here because I know one day it will seem like a distant memory, the same way looking at the toddler pictures does!   J and I hunkered down for a cold, snowy weekend and it was perfect.   We started with a trip to Barnes and Noble.  Saturday included some reading and we made sauce, meatballs and fresh pasta.   On Sunday, we spent more than 2 hours making clay projects with Cat Stevens playing in the background, the snow falling hard, and just being together.   We ended the night with Episode 1 of Game of Thrones.  J loves the series so I'm going to dig in a bit with him.  Nothing fancy.  Just a lovely weekend home together.  

" Hygge is about being cozy, comfortable, safe and surrounded by people we love."  Pia Edberg notes, "Hygge was never meant to be translated—it was meant to be felt"

“Hygge is about an atmosphere and an experience, rather than about things. It is about being with the people we love. A feeling of home. A feeling that we are safe, that we are shielded from the world and allow ourselves to let our guard down.” -  Meik Wiking

What I read: 2025

 A mix of genres but here is some of what I read in 2025: 

Zero to One, Peter Thiel

Caroline, Sarah Miller

Who Really Cares: the surprising truth about compassionate conservatism,  Arthur Brooks

Cherished Belonging, Gregory Boyle

In Praise of Walking, Shane O'Mara

The Anxious Generation, Jonathan Haidt

Building Thinking Classrooms, Peter Liljedahl

Community of Leaders, Vince Molinaro

The Advice Trap, Michael Stainer

All the Way to the River, Elizabeth Gilbert

The Women, Kristen Hannah

The Great Alone, Kristen Hannah

The Seville Communion, Arturo Perez

The Rackateer, John Grisham

Queen Bees and Wannabes, Rosalind Wiseman

*There were likely others and a handful I started but didn't finish, but this is a good summary.  Cheers to even more in 2026.  

Art Show

 Joe was selected to have his pieces presented in the middle school art show.  I love this for so many reasons. First, he just loves art class and art club after school. His art teacher thanked him last night for being a leader in that space.  Second,  He's not a naturally gifted artist, by a text book definition.  In my opinion, this makes his interest and his accomplishment even more cool and interesting!   When I was in school, I had the view that you were "good at art" or you weren't and that was that.  It would never have occurred to me to pursue it because I enjoyed it; regardless of whether I was considered good.  I was proud to see Joe recognized for something he enjoys so much.  I loved his work!  

  

Forty-five!

 Hello, 45!  Here we are.  I began this morning looking at some old posts from birthdays.  My first on this site was when I was 31; so that means this little garden I till, and more often than not these days, neglect, has been going for 14 years.  It truly is like an old friend and looking back; my younger self also seems like a friend - hopeful, innocent, unaware of the incredible blessings and painful moments that would lie ahead. 

Here we are.  I know pain and blessings will continue.  The bumps, bruises, highs and lows are a sign that I am alive.  Never perfect but always trying.  I am so eternally grateful for the wonderful 45 years I have had and can only pray that they continue. 

"So please, just fight for the things that crack light into your life, fight for the things that soften you.  Protect the people you love, leave them better than you found them.  Defend your heart, do whatever it takes to keep it open despite what it has been through.  Forgive, not just others, but yourself, as well.  Slow down - taste, and touch, and feel and care.  Create the things you want to see in this world, stay as curious as possible.  Honor your joy, do not shy away from the good that is trying to reach you - do not convince yourself that you are unworthy of it.  Be strong enough to be gentle.  Be brave enough to break.  Be all that you are.  Be all that you are. - Bianca Sparacino

Mysteries, yes

 Mysteries, yes - Mary Oliver

Truly, we live with mysteries too marvelous to be understood. 

--

How grass can be nourishing in the mouths of lambs. 

How rivers and stones are forever in allegiance with gravity

while we ourselves dream of rising. 

--

How two hands touch and the bonds

will never be broken.

How people come, from delight or the 

scars of damage

to the comfort of a poem. 

--

Let me keep my distance, always, from those

who think they have the answers. 

Let me keep company, always, with those who say

"Look!" and laugh in astonishment, 

and bow their heads. 

(taken in beautiful Acadia a few weeks ago) 

Atomic Habits

Finally crossed this one off the reading to do list.  The book made me think so much about this space.  How it used to be a part of my daily ritual - a stacked habit, as James Clear would say.  I would arrive to the office, fix a cup of coffee and open this page.  No outcome has ever been attached. 

The most effective way to change your habits is to focus not on what you want to achieve, but on who you wish to become. - James Clear

I appreciate this line, and many others, from the book.   And believe that writing has helped me articulate my thoughts, parse out what is important from the noise, and so much more. 

In another universe

This space holds various purposes....a place to jot down a quote I want to remember.  Share a picture from a memorable time.   Put words to feelings.   Journal about a period of my life.  Post an inspiring photo.  That's why this morning I was nearly frozen when I looked at my hotel room in Copenhagen - S downstairs at a meeting, Joe happy with his beautiful loving paternal family for vacation, and me - able to do a job I enjoy from anywhere I'd like to do it, traveling with someone I love, in a beautiful place - but what was in front of me was a picture nearly the same as something I had posted right here on this blog in 2011.   A perfect reminder to pause with full gratitude for making dreams come true.   Thank you, thank you, thank you. 

From my blog in 2011....

From today in my hotel room.... 

Have had this art print saved for awhile.  "In another universe, I am dreaming of this life right here" - Amanda Jones, Australian artist.  

James Clear

 Loving what he's got to say; bookmarking here for future reference. 

"Don't spend too much time around someone whose primary way of engaging with life is as a martyr.  When suffering becomes your identity, you only see the hard parts of life"  

Prayer for volunteers

 This was shared at the Villanova volunteer weekend I joined in May.   Sharing it here to easily retrieve it. 

Prayer for Alumni Volunteer Leaders
Inspired by St. Augustine

 

Gracious and loving God,
You have made us for Yourself, and our hearts are restless until they rest in You.
We thank You for gathering us here as alumni, united not only by shared experiences but by a shared calling to serve.

Guide us, Lord, with the wisdom of Your Spirit.
Let our work be rooted in humility, inspired by love, and directed toward the common good.
May we give generously of our time and talents,
remembering that in giving, we receive—
and in serving others, we come closer to You.

Bless our efforts, strengthen our unity, and lead us always in Your truth.
Amen.

 

Shakira!

 On a complete whim, last weekend we headed to Miami.  We had airline credits that would expire and J is spending quality time with his grandparents in Rio.   While there, a guy in the hotel elevator asked if we were there to see Shakira....   nooooo.....  but should we be??!!   I immediately went on Stubhub and got some last minute seats!   I have wanted to see her perform since I saw her Superbowl show with J-Lo a few years ago.    and Shakira, in Miami, is like seeing a team on the home field!  

As always, S was happy to go along with a plan.  It is not lost on me how lucky I am to have a partner so willing to always say an enthusiastic, YES.   So, we went to Zara, I got a fun dress to wear and we danced the night away.   I never want to forget the beautiful evening!  

Cliff House - Cape Neddick

Took S away for a quick trip to the Cliff House in Cape Neddick.   A stunning property that we haven't visited for a few years.  Amazing nature just a short trip from home.  Happy birthday to my favorite guy! 

Flowers

God spoke today in flowers.  And I, who was waiting on words, almost missed the conversation.