Friday, May 6, 2016

Mother's Day

My reflections after 3.5 years:

What is your favorite part of being a mom:   I created this little boy.  He grew in my belly and now grows in my home and in our love.  He has taught me so much about strength, capacity, true love. My life did not feel complete before he was born and now it does.  He had been waiting for us, and us for him.

What is the most difficult part of being a mom:  Loss of independence.  It's not just my life anymore.  I have to always consider how our behavior and choices affects this young person.  Working full time and raising a toddler doesn't allow for much alone time, which I crave and need.

What is your proudest moment since being a mom:  J is a kind, patient, funny, content boy.  He always has been.  We were blessed but I like to think that he is being raised by parents who love him unconditionally and he reflects the happiness and peace we strive for oursleves.  Watching him be kind, empathetic, and curious - no matter the setting - makes me feel sucessful in my intentions as his mother.

What do I wish for him:   I wish him good health - mind, spirit and body.  With that he will be able to accomplish whatever he seeks.  I hope we can help him to recognize his strengths and his passions and encourage him to fearlessly pursue his dreams.  

My favorite words on parenting, by Brene Brown:
The Wholehearted Parenting Manifesto
Above all else, I want you to know that you are loved and lovable. You will learn this from my words and actions—the lessons on love are in how I treat you and how I treat myself.
I want you to engage with the world from a place of worthiness. You will learn that you are worthy of love, belonging, and joy every time you see me practice self-compassion and embrace my own imperfections.
We will practice courage in our family by showing up, letting ourselves be seen, and honoring vulnerability. We will share our stories of struggle and strength. There will always be room in our home for both.
We will teach you compassion by practicing compassion with ourselves first; then with each other. We will set and respect boundaries; we will honor hard work, hope, and perseverance. Rest and play will be family values, as well as family practices.
You will learn accountability and respect by watching me make mistakes and make amends, and by watching how I ask for what I need and talk about how I feel.
I want you to know joy, so together we will practice gratitude.
I want you to feel joy, so together we will learn how to be vulnerable.
When uncertainty and scarcity visit, you will be able to draw from the spirit that is a part of our everyday life.
Together we will cry and face fear and grief. I will want to take away your pain, but instead I will sit with you and teach you how to feel it.
We will laugh and sing and dance and create. We will always have permission to be ourselves with each other. No matter what, you will always belong here.
As you begin your Wholehearted journey, the greatest gift that I can give to you is to live and love with my whole heart and to dare greatly.
I will not teach or love or show you anything perfectly, but I will let you see me, and I will always hold sacred the gift of seeing you. Truly, deeply, seeing you.