The sun is bright and shining into the apartment, legos are still scattered throughout, Santa's cookie crumbs are still next to the tree and my heart is full. Christmas 2018 is behind us and it was a wonderful season of joy. A few days ago, I read: at first: impossible, then difficult, then strange, then normal, finally: wouldn't have it any other way. It resonated so loudly about the shape of our family and my own path towards wholeness. This season we seemed to have entered Normal. Slowly, we begin little traditions - the cousins are up for a Christmas extravagnza in mid-December, friends & neighbors in the days before the holiday (bowling and crafts and caroling!), and Christmas Day a an easy day in our pajamas for me, J and my parents. I thank God for his little sweet soul because he brings so much into all of our lives and although Christmas may look different than what I thought - it is perfectly peaceful, calm and happy. It is so much more than enough.
This morning the house is quiet and I have a few minutes to pause and reflect. I feel good. Life feels good. I have plans. I have hopes. I have presence. I have acceptance. I put an iWatch under the tree from Santa to Mama. I felt J wasn't the only one who had been good all year. Moms, not only divorced ones, do so much unrecognized work at Christmas and always. It felt good to give myself a treat.
Very spiritual, but not much of a Bible reader, I saw this on a blog I follow the other day:
This morning, I read a few simple words in Luke.⠀
One line. Just one portion of a bigger birth story, a simple pause that follows a long and grueling labor of love and light, of hope and humanity:⠀
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“Mary kept all these things to herself, holding them dear, deep within herself.“⠀
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And I understood one small thing: that invisible work is never invisible. We get to keep it. To hold dear, to hold deep, to carry within ourselves.⠀
How lovely to remember. The work is never invisible if we do it with love. As I wrote Christmas cards and organized teacher gifts and helped a neighbor who's husband is sick, I felt lucky that I have the resources, energy and health to do it. To give freely, without reciprocity or praise, is a joy. This Christmas, I was filled with the true spirit of the season and it was a very good one.
