On Friday, J asked to stay with Papa while my mom and I went to the grocery store. We returned home to find an ambulance and condo neighbors looking after Joe. According to Joe, "Papa was sitting in a chair talking to a man and he closed his eyes." (he had heart failure) The neighbors administered CPR and the paramedics resuscitated him but it was not enough for his already very weak heart. We spent the next day with him in the hospital, while Uncle Ryan took care of the kids, and he passed with me, my sister, and my mom by his side. I told him that Joseph was ok, that he just thought Papa shut his eyes, that the neighbors by the pool had taken care of him, that he wasn't scared, that he understood Papa was going to heaven.... my dad squeezed our hand, opened his eyes for the final time and passed shortly after. He needed to know that his little matey was just fine.
I will use this space to record memories of my father... right now they are so clear, but time will inevitably fade them. I was so lucky. I was so loved. He was a one-of-a-kind father, he and I shared a special bond and I will continue to live in his image. Rest in heavenly peace, dad. I love you.
Mysteries, Yes
Truly, we live with mysteries too marvelous
to be understood.
How grass can be nourishing in the
mouths of the lambs.
How rivers and stones are forever
in allegiance with gravity,
while we ourselves dream of rising.
How two hands touch and the bonds
will never be broken.
How people come, from delight or the
scars of damage,
to the comfort of a poem.
Let me keep my distance, always, from those
who think they have the answers.
Let me keep company always with those who say
“Look!” and laugh in astonishment,
and bow their heads.
—Mary Oliver
