Together

When J was a baby, I was part of a newborn mother's group.   We met once a week and discussed the mundane challenges of our new lives - nursing, lack of sleep, washing bottles, pros and cons of the Snap n Go and Rock N play.  We were exhausted, in love, elated and scared to death as we held these perfect little bundles of life.

One afternoon someone remarked that every day felt the same.  It was winter in Boston and cabin fever and sleep deprivation were setting in.   Another remarked - "although it feels the same, it is not.  We are on a long walk with these children and though we may not always feel like we're making forward progress, time is passing, we are doing it, and every day is another step forward." I needed to hear that then and some days I still do.

A lot has changed since that afternoon.  I am a single mom.  We moved and moved again.  We found a new school, new friends and neighbors, I am working very hard at building a career I am proud of and at the same time - raising you: my truest joy, my biggest challenge.  The love of my life. 

I was introduced to hiking earlier this year and have grown to enjoy it.  I like the peacefulness of nature.  The sense of accomplishment, the scenery, the healthiness of the hobby.   I've tried to slowly introduce you, J, as well.  I dream of it being something we can do together.  At age 5, 15, 25....  I dream of walking with you in foreign, beautiful places.  I hope you will tell me as we walk about a love that you found, a problem you are facing, or an adventure you seek.   I hope I continue to be strong and that my experiences, both painful and joyous, can teach you something.

Over the weekend, we got you your first pair of hiking shoes.  You wore them proudly and well.   We did our first "peak" and you made it to the top of Wright Tower.   I was reminded of my friend's story.  I remembered you swaddled as I listened.  You were so perfect I couldn't believe you were my boy.  Six years later, you walked to the top.  Yes, you stopped to play with lots of sticks.  We looked at the tree stump that had fallen.  You crunched the leaves.  Today you are a boy, filled with curiosity and goodness. Despite our slow and winding pace, we arrived to the top. We continue our journey.  Nothing is today as it was yesterday and before long you won't stop to look at the sticks, you will  walk faster than me.  I will enjoy these days.  As precious and fleeting as the others. 

My wish for you today. "May your trails be crooked, winding, lonesome, dangerous, leading to the most amazing view.  May your mountains rise into and above the clouds." - Edward Abbey.