Mother's Day 2019

It was a wonderful Mother's Day weekend.  J and I attended a school fundraiser on Friday night.  His little school community is really full of nice children and families and it was fun to get together in a social setting for a casual evening.  On Saturday, I took my first flower arranging class with a friend while her husband kindly watched J and the kids.  It was so interesting to learn a bit more about the art of flower arranging and I am totally pleased with my final result!  I'm looking forward to doing more and really think of it as an artform that I can enjoy and find relaxing with something beautiful to enjoy after you're done.   Note: Quicksand Roses - the mauve colored roses are stunning, affordable and long lasting.  Take off the guard pedals and you can open them to fill in your arrangement. 
On Sunday, J and I relaxed in the morning and visited Grammy for Chinese food for dinner.  It was an easy day and my heart was full of gratitude for the blessing of being a mom.  It really is the integral part of my existence and raising J is the opportunity of my lifetime... 

I love to post something a reflection I read on Mother's Day, so here is one from 2019: Compliments of Elizabeth Gilbert.   A relationship with a mother is very complicated but recently I've tried to come at it more from a place of love, forgiveness and acceptance.  When we can see our parents were doing the best they could, life becomes a little lighter and a little easier for everyone.

Recently I was at a conference where the question was asked, “HOW MANY OF YOU ARE AFRAID OF TURNING INTO YOUR MOTHER?” Nearly everyone in the room stood up.

This made my heart ache.

My heart ached not only for the people in the room—who were all beautiful, creative, imaginative, and wonderful human beings. It made my heart hurt for their mothers—who will never stop being judged as failures.

Because, my God, we never stop blaming the mothers, do we? How many years, how many dollars, how much energy have we all spent as a culture, talking about how mothers have failed us?

What I want to say today is: Can we take a break—just for one day —and show some mercy to the mothers? Because being a mother is impossible. I don’t mean that it’s difficult. I mean: IT IS IMPOSSIBLE.

What we, as a culture, expect from our mothers is merely that they not be human. Mothers are meant to be some combination of Mother Mary, Mother Theresa, Superwoman, and Gaia. It’s a merciless standard of perfection. Merciless!

God help your mother, if she ever fell short. God help your mother, if she was exhausted & overwhelmed. God help her if she didn’t understand her kids. God help her if she no gift for raising children. God help her if she had desires and longings. God help her if she was ever terrified, suicidal, hopeless, bored, confused, furious. God help her if life had disappointed her. God help her if she had an addiction, or a mental illness. God help her if she ever broke down. God help her, if couldn’t control her rage. God help her, because if she fucked up in any way, she will be forever branded: BAD MOTHER. And we will never forgive her for this.

So this is my question: Can we take a break today from judging the mothers, and show them mercy, instead?

This doesn’t mean that what happened to you at the hands of your mother was OK. This doesn’t mean that your pain is not real...it just means that maybe her pain was real, too.

And if you are yourself a mother, and you never stop judging yourself for how you are failing...can you let it go for one day? Just for one day, can you drop the knife that you are holding to your own throat? Mercy. Just for one day. Let us find mercy.

Mercy on you.
Mercy on everyone. 

Mercy on the mothers.

And my flowers: