a very simple numeric ratio; during courtship, we tend to give our partners five instances of positive reinforcement for every critical or negative interaction. Most married couples criticize each other five times as much as they offer positive feedback. Start counting. Flip your interactions back to the stage of falling in love. Say—out loud—every positive thought that crosses your mind and send your mind in search for more. Dial down the criticism until the ratio is five to one in favor of kindness.
Isn't it wonderful advice?! I thought so. So much so that I ordered a copy of the book. Given how much of our life and our happiness is interwined with the relationship we have with our spouse, it's unfortunate that I don't devote more of my attention towards learning ways to better it. Too often, I wait for a problem to be en fuego - burning, burning so badly it cannot possibly be overlooked any further, before I give it the attention it deserves. Here's a good reminder to myself to be proactive and take steps at making a great thing even better. ....to us!
