On Valentine's Day

I woke up this morning filled to the brim with love and gratitude.  It is Valentine's Day, a day that normally doesn't make me think much beyond remembering to send J's cards in his backpack, and yet today, felt special.   I sent R a note, (reminding him to send said cards!) and also to thank him.  Love comes in many forms. One love that surprises me to no end is a parent's love for child.  R and my love for J is so clear and so evident, it has given us both the strength to manage some frustrations associated with the divorce and put J's needs and well being first.  Our love for J sustains us both and as I've commented here before, while we may not be a traditional family in the sense of living under one roof, we are very much a family bonded by the love and commitment to our little toothless (for now) wonderful human being.

Next was a text to my mom.  Also noted on the blog from time to time, my mother is a rock in J's life and their bond is indisputable.  J has spent Mondays with Grammy since he was an infant and is growing up with the same consistency and dependability that we had in our childhood.  You can be sure Grammy's car is one of the first in the line at school pickup week after week.  And yet, as an adult, I have struggled with my relationship with her at times.  As much as I am a student of introspection and reflection, my mother is not.  She'd rather say something witty, show the kids a silly practical joke and discuss the most recent episode of America's Got Talent.  At times it has frustrated me, when I needed mothering, understanding and more support.  But as I age, I see her love has always been there, just delivered in her way, not necessarily mine.  Today I sent a Happy Valentine's Day text to acknowledge all she does and apologize for the times I am short tempered and impatient with her.  Everyone needs and deserves appreciation and a heartfelt thank you.

And there's my beloved S.  After asking for months to understand myself and my journey, I have realized the depths of his love for me and the rarity of his selflessness.  Our compatibility and relationship is unmatched.  He loved me back to life through dark days but his love does not reside only in the past, I believe there is a future to it, as well.   Together, we are taking yet another leap into the unknown to explore what may await us as a couple.

So, on Valentine's Day, I reflect and consider.  Is love much more than radical empathy - accepting people where they are, leaving space for the difficult intra and extra circumstances that make people behave as they do and doing our part to occasionally give more than we receive?

J was so excited for "Valentimes Day" this year.  Sure, he knew I was wrapping a new lego set and Mama, please put a big pink heart on the wrapping.  Done, son.  Done.  I asked if he knew what Valentine's Day was for and he said, "yes, for loving people."    Maybe this silly day is actually one of the most important of all.   More love, more softness, more forgiveness.  Today, every day.



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