Monday, August 6, 2012


And on this Monday morning, as has been the case for several Monday mornings this summer, I found myself --- dare I say it, looking forward to heading into work.   For as long as I can remember I have worried about work/life balance when the time came for motherhood.  Actually, at 22 I chose a job that would be best cut out for motherhood, while still bringing home a nice paycheck.  My job path is not particularly glamorous or intellectually challenging, yet it isn't entirely bad either.  I work in a great place with people that treat me well.  Our benefits, financial and otherwise, have helped us get to a place that I feel extremely proud and secure and I have a defined and marketable skill set.

But something else is happening recently.  Between the pregnancy and my husband's recovery from surgery, I have started to look forward to this quiet little space where I spend my weekdays.  I like the routine of it.   I like knowing what to expect, and knowing that I am valued and good at it.  I like the pace --- where once I found it tedious and boring, these days I'm feeling gratitude for the time in the morning where I can make my coffee, read a few of my favorite blogs, gather some thoughts here on this space, and start my workday.   I used to daydream of how I could find a job that would give me flexibility to enjoy more of the summer --- but you know what, the summer is hot.  And after a sticky humid weekend, my cool office seemed like just the right place to be.  

So - what am I trying to say here?   Just a note to my younger self, I suppose.  I spent countless hours worrying whether the career path I chose would allow me the family balance that I know I need.  And just recently, as my belly grows and life becomes increasingly busy, I think that I did make the right choice.  I like the predictability and structure of what I do.  I like being part of a talented team.  I like coming to work and being productive. 

And that's it.  For now, I'm content. And that feels really good.  For now, my head isn't going in a million directions wondering how I got here and whether it was right or wrong.   For now, I'm just enjoying this unique time in my life and soaking it in - a sincere and true gratitude for where I'm at and nothing more.