Impermanence

Last night I said to my husband, "I feel like an adult".  That might sound like a weird thing to say coming from a 31 year old who has managed to stay married for 5 years, own a house, start a business, hold the same job...   But in many ways, I think what I was doing over the past decade was transitioning.  And there were growing pains (which I think is part of what makes the 20's so painful) but I hadn't really got there.  Now I feel like the train has pulled into the station.  I was on the Adult Express...and we just reached our final destination.

Why, you wonder?  Impermanence.  As a child, I was sheltered from some of the truths.  I wasn't overly naive, but I just believed that good would always prevail and that there was a universal fairness that governed the world around us.  I actually do still believe that, on a spiritual level, but speaking in terms of our physical lives here --- we are not "owed" anything.  We won't have happy marriages just because we wear wedding bands, we may never have the opportunity at our "dream career", the most wonderful people will get sick and the one who cheated through the entire game just might keep climbing to the top.   It happens.  It all happens. 

That said, my perception as an adult is not a negative one.  It is not a selfish one either.  It finally stopped being quite so confusing, too.  Impermanence is undeniable and unavoidable.  Things change.  We welcome with joy new life, new love, new marriages, new opportunities just as we mourn the loss of people and circumstances taken before we felt ready.   Life can be as beautiful as it is cruel.  While we wait for the next change --- I strive to be happy. I hold myself to my own standards and try to be a pillar that is less affected by the world around me. Will we make mistakes? Yes.  Will it always be fair or right or reasonable? No way.  Do we hold all of the answers? Absolutely not.  Will we be surprised? Shocked.   Does it go on? Every single day.   

Welcome, adulthood.

(Japanese tradition uses the Cherry Blossom as a symbol of the transience of life...)

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